Funny Christmas Quotes and Sayings | Hilarious Xmas Jokes

Enjoy Funny Christmas Quotes and Sayings and clean Xmas Jokes for all the Christmas season. Christmas is a Holiday that brings out the joy in most people. Laughter is allegedly the best medicine, and its most certainly good for the soul. Little funny moments can surely turn the entire atmosphere into hilarious mood. Share your joy with some Best Christmas Funny Quotes and Sayings that’ll keep you smile or make you laugh. So here we’ve listed One Liner Christmas Jokes for Kids, Children & naughty girls and boys with Funny Christmas Images, Short Funny Christmas Status for WhatsApp & Facebook, Cute Hilarious Xmas Quotations for Friends & Family about Santa Claus, Small Funny Christmas Quotes For Cards & Greetings, Read Merry Christmas Funny Quotes below and share with your friends to make your Christmas holidays more funny! Have a joyful Christmas 2016  🙂

Most Funny Christmas Quotes and Sayings Images | Hilarious Xmas Jokes for Friends, Family & Children

Funny Christmas Quotes Image

 

Cute Funny Christmas Quotes and Sayings

 

  • May your longest list this Christmas be the one that counts your blessings.
  • Can I get a Picture of You so that I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
  • Would you like some Christmas thanks or perhaps a bunch of Christmas pranks?
  • Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? ~Bart Simpson
  • Why were there only three kings at Jesus’ birth? Elvis had not yet entered the building.
  • Giving me a Christmas ornament as a Christmas gift is like bringing vitamins to my funeral.
  • From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
  • Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas. ~Melanie White
  • Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ~Johnny Carson
  • Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ~Kin Hubbard
  • This Christmas let’s try to keep things in their proper perspective. After all, credit cards do have their limits.
  • This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
  • I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying: ‘Toys not included’. ~Bernard Manning
  • If you mistakenly wrap a Christmas present in paper that says “Happy Birthday”… You can always write “to Jesus” on it.
  • You can feel a real let-down after Christmas. Especially when all you have to look forward to is your New Year’s resolutions. ~Melanie White
  • One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly. ~Andy Rooney

 

 

Lovely Funny Christmas Status for WhatsApp & Facebook

Funny Christmas Status Image

 

  • Zen Christmas: the gift of nothingness.
  • I wanna be Spider man for Christmas.
  • All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
  • This Christmas don’t WhatsApp me, send me a gift.
  • Merry Christmas, nearly everybody! ~Ogden Nash
  • During Christmas you buy gifts with the next year’s money.
  • Only an accountant understands the real meaning of Christmas.
  • Me putting up with you is your Christmas present. Happy Christmas
  • Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. ~Andy Borowitz
  • Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.
  • I bought the Christmas Oreos… So don’t tell me I don’t have holiday spirit.
  • Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help. ~Andy Borowitz
  • The real magic of Christmas is that the money from wallet vanishes instantly.
  • You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. ~Robert Paul
  • There has been only one Christmas – the rest are anniversaries. ~W.J. Cameron

 

 

Special Funny Christmas Quotes For Cards

Funny Christmas Quotes for Cards

 

  • What do you call a Christmas card from your crazy ex? Sent-a-mental.
  • Know why this Christmas card is awesome? It’s not an email. It’s not a text.
  • Money’s scarce Times are hard Here’s your fucking Xmas card ~Phyllis Diller
  • Know what the best thing about this card is? It’s not a fruitcake! Merry Christmas!
  • Nothing is more sad than a gift card that says “Cannot be used for the purchase of alcohol.
  • I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!
  • You don’t need Visa when you’ve got Santa! You don’t need Santa when you’ve got Visa! Who needs Santa when you’ve got Grandma!
  • Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp. ~Melanie White

 

Funny Christmas Quotes For Family And Relatives

Funny Christmas Quotes for Family

 

  • At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional. ~Robert Godden
  • I’ve seen you Facebook status updates, You’ll get a dictionary for Christmas.
  • My Christmases have always just been very simple and about family. ~Julie Roberts
  • We have a tradition with our friends – we go out on 25th of December and we don’t go out the next day.
  • If you’re going to be celebrating Christmas with this family, then you need to put your hilarity hat on right now!
  • I’m hoping for a magical Christmas this year. I’m hoping all my relatives will magically disappear. ~Melanie White
  • I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~Bernard Manning
  • Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp. ~Melanie White
  • Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven. ~W. C. Fields

 

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